catching up

alright, since many of you have already been telling me to update this blog, might as well write a bit long one coz i think i won't be back pretty much soon after this. hahaha.

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ON CHRISTMAS SEASON AND FAMILY

well, we're now on the last month of 2005. christmas season is fast approaching, and everyone should be celebrating and enjoying this. but as for me... erm, i dunno. i think this is gonna be a very different one, since it'll be my first time to eat noche buena, go to simbang gabi, light up firecrackers, and do all those holiday stuff... without my whole family. dramatic, yet true.

there's only five of us left here in metro, actually. it's gonna be new to them too coz my tito's also not around now. got separated with my tita and cousin, here with me. and of course, my lolo and lola.

before, there were nine of us. but now, it's down to five. i'm sure we're still gonna have fun, but of course, the realization that our folks are not around anymore now will surely hit us.

another thing, we visited my kuya at the cemetery last all souls' day, and i felt so bad that time coz the family wasn't complete around him anymore. at least i was there beside his grave, and i started talking to him like i haven't done before. i had flashbacks then that my ate would start the prayer and my mom would start talking to kuya. but now...

and then, i've been having some communication problems with my family, that my mom had told me once that i'm not making an effort to contact them or whatever. yes it's my fault, but please, don't rub it in. i know it's just that y'all miss me, and i miss you all too. i felt so bad that time coz i was so excited to talk to them and those were the first words that i got from them. sorry if i'm being effortless... maybe it's just that i'm so busy, or i don't feel like calling coz it'll just make me feel more sad coz all of them are not with me...

ON SCHOOL AND FRIENDS

anyway, past november was spent doing nothing but school work, school work, and more school work. i'm enrolled again for this semester with 18 units, with almost all of them on third year subjects. yup, i'm back on the track, but now it's weird coz my batchmates are not my classmates anymore... i dunno, but i can't help but feel so bad about it. the feeling of walking alone on the corridors, passing by a room and seeing all my batchmates and friends (especially kabarkadas) all in one room... it really sucks big time. i must admit, there were times that i really did try to detach myself from them so that it'd be easier for me to accept what's happening, but i just can't. and up to now, though i've been trying to ignore that feeling, it's still getting me.

i've already told some of my friends about this, and all of them told me that it's gonna be fine. yeah, i know it will be, i just have to wait for that to happen.

on the other hand, i'm thankful that i have many friends who welcomed me on the '03 batch. among them all are saku, jb, jika, agnes, xtian, jr, mary... mostly AF peeps. of course i'm also in the process now of meeting and gaining new more friends, and i'm hoping that time comes that i'll be close to them.

i told jb once about how bad i feel about getting "left behind", and he told me this: "isipin mo na lang, at least close ka pa rin sa kanila kahit di mo na sila nakakasama. tingnan mo 'yung iba, malayo lang ng sandali, mawawala na."

yeah, he's right. i'm glad that i'm still close to them, but i think it's slowly fading... well, maybe except for pat whom i'm getting close to just now and lozzie who's still constantly contacting me wherever i am. as for my other friends, i don't have much chances of hanging-out with them as frequently as before. what's worse is that whenever i run into them talking in groups, i couldn't relate to them at some point, so obviously, i'd just keep my mouth shut and try to relate... or just simply walk away.

sheesh. sorry if i've been dwelling on this too much. it's just that i'm very attached to them, that i'm having a hard time accepting some things. though i still see them, all i can do now is just say hi and hello. i'm starting to miss them... so badly.

ON HEART MATTERS

if you guys still don't know, yeah i have a girlfriend now. :) we're turning two months on the sixth, and all i can say is that i'm happy with her. heehee. i've never felt this way before. there were some bumps on the road, but it's all good. i'm glad that we still manage to work on this amidst the tiring and busy skeds of arki life.

oh yeah, i'm not a cradle snatcher, nor a child abuser. hahaha. her being just 17 doesn't mean that i'm a bad and naughty person, right? :P c'mon guys, please cooperate with me and just say yes!

ON UP ARKI FORUM

honestly, i realized that i'm so glad that leni decided to appoint me as the secretary of UP Arki Forum. i love working with all of them coz it's so fun, and at the same time i've been spending a lot of time and moments with them. being in service for an org that i love and seeing all the success after pouring lots of effort on the projects are so fulfilling for me. i'm loving AF more and more, coz it's my family in arki. :)

two events for AF happened this past november: induction party and puerto galera!!! hehe. induction was last november 18-19, while galera took place last 26th and 27th. both of them were so fun, and i've never enjoyed my college life like this before.

this past induction has been the best one for me yet since i joined AF. it was an overnight deal in an antipolo house, so far yet worth it. the whole night was spent partying, eating, drinking till people go crazy, watching scary dvds (haha!), teasing and joking around, and lots more. it was a fun-filled night as we welcomed the new members with a nice greeting and... haha. you guys know what i'm saying, right? can't write it down coz the not-yet-inducted-new-mems might read this! haha. :P

and galera? it was the first time of almost all of us (there were ten of us by the way: leni, anj, anna, noel, foom, lex, xtian, jika, pat and i) so it was very exciting. what sucked though is that i've spent too much money there, but at least it was hell worth it. all of us really had a good time!

pics will follow soon. hopefully! heehee.

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okay, so that was my emotional roller coaster. my high points and low points. well, that's life. sometimes you're up, and sometimes down.

gotta go and get some sleep now. Arkaira Acoustikaboomers Night later. we'll be performing lotsa songs. please watch y'all! :)