the pain of missing somebody so bad

i have two best friends. and both of them are so important to me.

so much.

but now, it seems like i've lost connection with one of them. she just had a boyfriend a week ago, hence we don't get to hang-out anymore since they're always together.

don't get me wrong. i'm not saying this because i'm being jealous. i'm her best friend and he's her boyfriend. and that's that. having a love relationship with someone is normal. but the painful thing is that the boyfriend is so jealous of me, and now he doesn't want me to come near her. she suddenly stopped texting or calling me. we get to chat sometime in YM, but i feel like it's not the same anymore.

and what am i supposed to do? NOTHING. i just have to accept the reality of not being able to spend time with her anymore, like what we used to do a lot before. if the boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me to fix this issue once and for all, and so be it. maybe i have to let go of my best friend. maybe the right thing to do now is to stay away from them before they do stay away from me.

if we meet each other at the corridors, then fine. she's still my friend. we'll still talk, but maybe not like before... coz i feel pain. what i'm so disappointed about right now is that i don't feel any effort from her anymore, to even just try to communicate with me and patch things up. i'm sad that she can't defend me from her boyfriend, and he's too narrow-minded to accept that WE'RE REALLY JUST FRIENDS.

shit. just when my time here in the philippines is like contained in one huge sandglass with the length of 23 months, this has to happen.

kung kelan malapit na akong mag-settle sa states, ito pa ang nangyayari.

i-defend mo naman ako sa kanya. parang awa mo na.

nami-miss na kita eh...