525,600 minutes of 2005

we're all down to the last day of the year 2005, and in a few hours, everywhere's gonna be filled with the bright lights and crackling noise of the firecrackers, as we welcome the new year ahead of us.

like what television show people and my fellow bloggers do, ending 2005 would not be complete without wrapping up everything to a year-ender thing.

so here goes...

well, 2005 for me started with a blur. i was lost, and i didn't know what to do. i felt like my head's spinning weeks before we left the country to live the so-called american dream. the whole family was busy packing all of our stuff, and at the same time i was scrambling to do things that i wanted to do before the day comes.

i was sinking in depression then. it was very hard for me to leave everything and everyone here, thinking that all of them were about to get out of my sight all at the same time. it was like i had to ready myself to fall in a black hole, and that i was gonna be empty.

but when we came to jersey and settled, and days, weeks and months progressed, i finally had the hold of it. i've realized how living the american dream is like. it's hard, but fun sometimes. it was my first time to see snow falling during winter and flowers blooming during spring, and deer and squirrels running at the backyard!

since i wasn't interested then in going to college there, i kept myself busy working at the cinemas, earning $6.50 per hour. it wasn't bad actually, coz i was starting to raise my own money. more, i also found there my first few friends. among them is mike, the chinese guy who's like my best friend there.

though we still have our fights and quarrels, all of us in the family undeniably got close with each other, since there were not much people around yet to spend time with. we went to places together, from new jersey to new york. i also traveled on my own to florida to visit my aunt and her family.

and then there was another twist. i was unexpectedly able to get back here just before summer break ended. alone. it wasn't just a big surprise for everyone but also for myself; it was so unbelievable. right when i set foot on the ground, it made me say "it really feels good to be home".

it was kinda strange for me to see again jeepneys, peso bills, jollibee food and whatever stuff. i was 14 pounds heavier, was talking in english with an accent, and started living here at my grandparents' place. again, it was adjustment time for me.

and so i went back to UP arki. i tried to put my life back on track, to where it was before i left, but it seemed like there was nothing i can do to make it happen. like my friend told me then, things that've changed could never go back to the way they used to be.

hence i lived a somewhat new life, my environment changed a bit, as there were more new people around me. aside from getting along with my new batchmates (coz i was already one year delayed), i've created new and great friendships with people like edpat, rap, and of course, xanji, who eventually became my girlfriend (love actually sucked during the first parts of the year, till i finally met her! ;p).

as for my old friends, the wind seemed to blow in different directions. i didn't get to hang-out much with my former arki batchmates anymore -- it's really weird to see them almost everyday, but we rarely talk to each other. my arkikada's still with me though -- lozzie, patrick, nins, meg, jik, kay and ria (but i really got close with the first three this year!). in arki forum, where i was appointed on the spot as the secretary, i got closer with anj, noel, leni and more. and there are jr, jika, jb, saku and agnes, all from the 03 batch whom i've made stronger bonds with.

i've spent more time with my arki friends than ever. the arkikada went to lozzie's place at batangas for the fourth time already, and last november, some members of arki forum, including me, went to puerto galera (it was my first time to see mindoro and i haven't been to visayas or mindanao yet!). the trips were fun, and everyone had a great time.

on the other hand, my close friends outside arki are still there, like rika and dino, though i don't get to talk much to some of them like before. actually, i still have lots of friends whom i haven't seen yet since i got back, mostly from my high school batch.

as for my academics, i can say i've done pretty good compared to the past years. i'm aiming for better grades this term, coz i'm doing this not only for myself, but also for my family.

and speaking of family, this is where i had some sort of negatives for this year. since i got back here, i wasn't able to talk much to them, like just once or twice a month. we chat on ym, but of course, talking to them on the phone matters. as a result, they felt like i wasn't making any effort to contact them or whatever. honestly, i'm not on the mood sometimes to talk to them, coz it'd make me miss them more.

living here at the zabala's place with only my grandparents, aunt and cousin is kinda strange. it's my first time to be away from my whole family, which actually sucks, but at least i'm not alone here. we celebrated holidays with just the five us, unlike before, when we were still nine. it was a bit sad, but it's temporary. time will come that we would all be back together again -- probably in the US.

so there. it was extraordinarily a tough and rough year for me, as i've taken the biggest twists and turns (so far) of my life. it was overwhelming indeed, and at the same time, i've learned a lot of important lessons.

it really is hard to stop being a dramatic person that i am, when almost all major things that've happened for the whole year were filled with telenovelaic stuff that seem like i just couldn't have enough of. i'm just lucky to have those fun and nice moments to balance things out.

and yeah, i'm back to my countdown clock ticking, like what i've done a year ago when we were about to migrate to jersey. i'm leaving again on april, and i'll be coming back God-knows-when. there are lots of uncertainty in my book, and one of them's gonna happen again.

if ever i don't make it back here on june, i'd still be glad and thankful to God that He has given me the chance to open a new chapter of my life here, and that i've had so many experiences, good and bad, that have molded me to the person that i am now.

thanks to everybody who've made 2005 a very meaningful year to me, despite it being one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride. to my family, friends and former co-workers in the US, down to my relatives, xanji, and lots and lots of friends here in the philippines, thank you.

i wouldn't be jas without you all.





hahaha... dramatic post, eh? ;p

to a happy and thrilling 2006. cheers!!! :)