spring 911

td check: 8:45 am, march 21

today's officially the first day of spring. things are warming up little by little each day, and i'm starting to use lesser blankets and layers of clothing. what i have to prepare for are the endless rainfalls that help the trees have their leaves back and the flowers bloom again. i can't wait for them to happen. that'd be lots of colors around me.

but wait. the forecast says it's probably gonna snow on wednesday?! geez man. i hope it doesn't.

since i haven't had updates for like a week, there's so much stuff i'd like to write about, that i even had to write them down on a piece of paper so that i wouldn't forget. here's one for now.

ONE morning, the sound of the door buzzer woke me up. i started hearing my sister and mom talk to each other in a panicky tone, because our "visitor" is a policeman. they were so afraid that they asked my cousin mae to open the door, but she just got out of the shower and only had her bathrobe on (hahaha).

the police asked if someone called 911. erm, i thought, who would do that? mae just said we may have just made a mistake. so when he was gone, we were asking each other what really went wrong, and worse, my sister told my aunt that a police called (yes, they even left a voicemail). good thing my cousin covered up.

and the thing? my sister's fault. she was about to make a long distance call to her friend in the philippines, with a call card. but instead of dialing the toll free number first, she dialed the pin number.

9116454723.

movie boy

td check: 11:15 pm, march 13

when i was still in the philippines, i used to go around malls to watch movies with my friends. i would buy the tickets, go to the line to get snacks like popcorn, find good seats (if there still are), and enjoy the movie. and when it's done, we'd just leave our trash on the floor, like other people would do (and the floor gets sticky with spilled soda almost always).

but now, i go to the movie theaters for something way too different.

"hi, would you like to try our combo? a large popcorn, two large drinks and any of these three poppables?"
"would you like to put butter on your popcorn? cheese on your nachos/pretzels?"
"what size is/are your drink/s?"
"anything else?"
"that would be $(price)"

yes. i go to the cinemas every weekend, not to see a movie, but to work. i started this last friday to sunday, with a day or night shift. at first i was surprised with the load coz my entire system's not yet prepared for it, but then i was getting the hang of it when i went on.

everything i do there is quite simple. make popcorns and put on bags, stack nacho chips, put drinks on cups, and other more things that a typical person in the concession area would do. what's hard about it is that during rush periods, when a movie starts, people form very long lines, ordering food (what else?), and we're working like crazy and there's no tomorrow. but before you know it, the lines disappear, and you'll be okay and relax before the next showing (hell, there are 10 theaters, figure out how many showings we have in a day. not to mention i work weekends, hence the big crowd of people).

what i like about my work is that i get to talk with different people, a thing i really need to do now to help adjust myself here in the us. i've made friends now, like michael, a chinese guy. he's born here so he speaks english very well. he told me he speaks chinese but he doesn't know how to write. and oh, there's chantel, dene, charles and a few more, all i work with at the movies.

and the greatest deal i get, aside from getting paid for work, is that we get free food anytime during work periods. when there're no customers, we go grab a soda, nachos, popcorn, slushie... hahaha. when i came here, i told myself not to get attached to sodas anymore, but here i am, drinking every kind that i could get. and in lucky times, we could see movies for free, and bring a friend or two with us. who would not like it if a movie pass costs 9 dollars per head?

another thing, customers here are so friendly. they would even chat with you when you're making their order, and say thank you before they leave. i could not remember anyone who didn't say that. well, it feels really good to hear people appreciate what you do. that's why i'm starting to like my new work now.

and i'm trying my best to like my new life here.

"thank you, have a good day!"

buzz.

td check: 11:48 am, march 8

well, i just made some editing on my template. and since i'm logged on already, i thought of making a post. hmm... i dunno what to say though. it's not that i don't have anything runnin' in my mind, i just dunno what to spill first.

waah. brain overload. only with thoughts to write. IQ? i'm not sure about that!

ah.

we're gonna see maroon 5 live in concert. april first, at the liacouras center in philadelphia. nice. can't wait for it!

buzz.

it's snowing now. again. 'tis the 7th snowfall since we got here. i remember when i was still in the philippines how much i liked to see snow (i used to see those white flakes just on tv). but now that it keeps on lowering the temperature, i just want it to disappear right now. sheesh. spring, where are you? please come early!

buzz.

and on other news, my work starts tomorrow. oh well. let's see what happens.

time flies

td check: 12:08am, march 5

every morning when i wake up, i'd open my eyes, look at the window to see the blue sky, and say to myself, this is a brand new day.

and each time i get off the bed, i'd check my mobile phone with my globe sim in it, hoping that someone gave me a buzz to help relieve myself from loneliness.

i got two messages this morning: one from my best friend, and one from my arki bro. they're actually two of my closest pals in the philippines, and yes, i miss them a lot. i'm so glad they texted me.

when i read my best friend's message, there were a few lines in it that really hit me.

"Ei kamiss ka na talga jas. Halos 1 month ka ng wala.."

yes, we've been here for exactly a month already. we boarded the plane and left the philippines last february 5, 12:50 pm.

that day (and the weeks before that) was so painful for me. i could still feel it now.

and it's getting worse.

my mom and sister said that time here flies so fast. but i think it's the other way around. maybe it's just that i'm so looking forward to the day that i'd go back to the philippines... maybe i just couldn't wait.

and my friend patrick was right. before i left, he told me to keep myself busy here so that i won't think and worry about my life too much.

i took his advice, and i already got a part-time job. i'm gonna start wednesday next week. i have mixed feelings about it though. maybe with this thing to keep myself busy, time for me will then fly fast.

and if it does, it'll lead me closer to my return.

by the way, i'm planning to go back home on may. fingers crossed.

episodes

td check: 11:34 pm, march 1

i haven't been posting lately coz we just got back from new york a couple of days ago. yes, the city that never sleeps. we were there for the past whole week, and stayed at my aunt sonia's apartment, which has a good breath-taking view of the central park. it's an experience that i could never forget, like a dream come true.

but it's not about the big apple that my words and emotions would like to ponder on now. it's just this sucky feeling that anyone could possibly have when they leave a place they've stayed in for almost the rest of their lives.

homesickness.

i've been here in new jersey for almost a month already, and this sickness is probably the big reason why i'm not enjoying my life here right now. this thing's pulling me down to a very emotional low, and i just couldn't take it. it's like pushing a big boulder uphill.

everytime i wake up, i wish that i am in my own bed, in my own room, back there in the philippines. but no. i have to face this. i have to battle with my lows just to lift myself up and feel good again.

and i don't think i'd win.

the thermometer is hitting a few notches below zero, and my whole environment is again covered with snow. this cold weather makes me even more sentimental, and makes me remind of some lines that keep on playing in my head.

in my room, while reading the alchemist
dad: homesick ka na ba?
me: medyo... schoolsick na rin.
dad: magiging okay ka rin. makakabalik ka naman eh.
me: yeah, i hope so.

yup, it doesn't feel great to have to stop schooling when you already have the drive to work so hard for it. being away from the campus without carrying a diploma with you is like leaving an unfinished task. it's like running towards the finish line and you fall on the ground before reaching it.

in the dining area, having dinner with the family
mom: mae, tell us what you felt when you left the philippines.
mae: okay lang naman, bata pa naman ako nun eh. si kuya brett talaga yung nabigla.
mom: ito ngang si jason, ayaw talaga umalis nun eh.
aunt tess: yeah, i heard about that.
*she looks at me and smiles, and i just looked back with no expression on my face*

mae's my cousin who's been here for almost nine years now. she left the philippines when she just graduated from elementary. young mind she had that time, so it was easier for her to leave things behind. how i wished i left in an age as early as hers. it would have been easier for me to accept this. but then i thought, i wouldn't meet my friends and have an entirely different life if that happened.

at a street in new york, walking with my aunt sonia
aunt: so, what did your friends say when you left?
me: well, ayun. malungkot lahat. i couldn't stop crying for days.
aunt: before you left or after?
me: before.
aunt: ganun talaga, and you're still on college. mas okay malayo pag graduate na kayo kasi you guys really part ways when that time comes.
me: yeah.

nuff said about this one. but i'm glad she understands me.

there were still more conversations and arguments, but i couldn't remember the lines anymore. and it's getting dramatic in here, like a dramatic person that i am. i just hope i could get away with this feeling much sooner.