here in america

at long last, a post!

well, it's actually 3:47 in the morning here, exactly opposite of the time there in the philippines. i woke up 3ish coz i'm still on a jetlag (gawd, i slept like 8:30pm). my body hasn't adjusted yet to the time here; my body clock is still there. haha.

i'm having a ym conference with rika and maikel and also chattin' with lozzie, so my plan of trying to sleep again may not happen anymore. hahaha. and i'm going to jersey around lunch time (my sis and cuz are picking me up). i'm in our apartment in woodside, new york btw.

so since i have eight weeks here, it's like staying in the pinoy big brother house. the only thing is, america is my big brother's house. haha. jolog! :p

i'ma give updates for each day. since this is my first post, i'll start with day 1.

DAY 1, friday

finally arrived here around 8 in the evening, after the agonizing (around) 20 hours of flight from the philippines to here. my whole family and jehan (sis' bf) picked me up, then they brought me to Krystal's Cafe, one of the many Filipino restos around here. and when i say Filipino, it is SO Filipino! like the whole place is full of tagalog-speaking people. actually, our area here in woodside is full of hispanic and asian races, like you'd hardly see any whites and blacks. haha. makes me feel much at home.

anyway, so when we were there inside the resto, i thought my passport got lost and i sort of panicked. i forgot my mom took it from me, so it's all good. and when i was gonna use the CR, twas locked. i heard noise inside so i waited for the person to go out. and when he did get out, i opened the door. man, he left it locked. but after a few seconds, it opened, and another guy came out! gaaaaah! brokeback!!!

so there. after that long night, we finally arrived here in our apartment. it's a nice place actually... we have good neighbors, we're near the train (to my parent's and sister's workplace), and near to everywhere else (shops, mcdonald's, etc.). we fixed my stuff, jehan left, and all of us went to sleep.

DAY 2, saturday

erm, nothing much happened here. basically spent the whole day inside our place, taking much-needed rests. was on the computer too, talking to lotsa people in the philippines. we were supposed to meet my aunt in the evening, but i accidentally slept from 5 in the afternoon to 12 midnight. haha.

DAY 3, sunday

so i woke up at 12. and of course, i was the only one up. i opened the laptop again, chatted more, tried to sleep at 6, woke up at 8. went to my aunt's place in manhattan around 10 in the morning. we walked around central park, took some pictures, and had early dinner at saigon grill. since i haven't had sleep for that day yet, i felt soooo sleepy. gaah. i was like a zombie walking along the streets of new york. i was supposed to attend mass but i fell asleep in my aunt's apartment. went back here in woodside around 10 in the evening, and went straight to bed.

DAY 4, monday

again, nothing much happened. my whole family went to work, so i was left here alone. bummed in front of the laptop, ym-ed people, pigged out and watched TV. and thanks to YM, i was able to talk to rika (yup, real time phone chat!) for six hours!!! it's like a long distance call but free! good thing both of us have fast internet connections, so we had it all easy. c'mon guys, gimme a call too! haha.

DAY 5, tuesday

was alone again. i've decided to explore our place, so i walked. i kept on walking till i reached 94th street. and i suddenly realized, i was from the 56th! i've already walked 38 blocks without noticing it. i also walked back, so it's like a total of 76. haha! i picked up some dunkin' donuts on my way home so that i won't get bored with walking.

got back here around 12:30. i had adobo for lunch, watched TV and chatted with people on ym (hmm seems like a routine). talked to rika again on the YM phone for a few hours, but had to cut it coz i was gonna meet my dad at grand central station to visit my mom over at her work.

i saw a pair of steve madden shoes at the mall, and i like it so much. but it's worth 70 dollars, so i still have to convince my mom to buy it. haha.

went home here around 6, since dad was already tired and sleepy from work. i watched american idol, but didn't finish it coz i accidentally went to sleep. gaah. when will this irregularity of sleep stop? when will i adjust to american time? haha.

DAY 6, wednesday

so i woke up 3 in the morning, and here i am.



there. anyway, i'm having windburns right now... my lips hurt soooo bad. have to use chapstick!

alright, i'ma go for now. i'll post again when i get to jersey. haha. miss you all in the philippines!



P.S. ever tried twix ice cream bar? yup, the ice cream version of that yummy chocolate. man, it's sooooo goooood! i still have to try the snickers, milky way, and m&m's. haha! ;p

this is it

i'm already leaving in an hour.

meaning, this would be my last post here in the philippines, for now.

gotta go...

and i'm leaving y'all with this song. one of my favorites now.

till then.

***

Bad Day
Daniel Powter

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the brink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day

***

see you all soon!

almost there

three hours left before i leave this house.

i'm almost done with my packing.

anyway, recap first.

wednesday. went to arki to see my fourth year friends, and said goodbyes. then i ran to cubao to do some last-minute shopping, and finally headed home. jan mike and edpat went here in our house to keep me company while i'm packing my stuff. jan mike went home after a few hours, while edpat stayed overnight. we had a movie marathon, which ran until the sky was clear blue again. haha. edpat didn't want to sleep, and bad me, i did for a short while. minutes after i woke up, he was gonna leave already, so we said our goodbyes... and then i was alone again.

so for the rest of thursday morning after he left, i was sleeping. i woke up again around lunchtime, and headed straight to UP without catching breakfast or lunch. i went to sir nelson's office at FC, where he gave me a book, which i could read to relieve me of boredom during my very long trip. i walked around the campus for a while, and went to the grocery for another last-minute buying.

i went home around five in the afternoon to meet up with my relatives from the province. after having some chats at the living area, i got a text from dax. oh yeah, we were supposed to go out for dinner, so off i went to ortigas. there were six of us: dax, ayin, jan-lee, jego, amia and i. we ate pizza, had some conversations, had laugh trips, but they were cut short because amia had to go back to the office, and of course, i have to go home immediately coz i still have to pack.

it was good hanging-out with them again after a very long time.

when i finally got home, my aunt was almost done with the packing (she did almost all of it). heck, of the two big suitcases that i'd be using, i'm only bringing few pieces of clothing. meaning the two are full with stuff that aren't mine. almost all of them are stuff requested by my family, or items that our friends here have asked us to bring to their relatives there. my personal stuff are all in my hand-carry luggage.

so i continued my packing. and after a few hours, rika, kristine and yzon came over to see me, and just left a few minutes ago coz they have to go somewhere else (at 5 am?!). rika and kris gave me a letter, but i'm just gonna read it once i board the plane.

so there.

oh well. i don't like saying goodbyes. not even see you later.

coz i simply hate leaving.

but on the brighter side, i'm gonna be with my family again.

finally.

monday and tuesday

so far, so good.

since the start of this week, i've been doing things that i've actually been planning to do before i leave. at least i get to enjoy these last few days before i ride that plane back to new york.

monday was spent with me going to arki, seeing rap, arni and my ex-batchmates taking up the pre-thesis esquisse. later, i went to my high school best friend's house, and had the chance to finally hang-out with him again after a very long time. we had some isaw, walked around almost the whole campus, took the ikot jeep... some simple things that i haven't done for the past few months because of my busy life.

and then we went to the bonsai garden for erika's mass. there was also a mini program prepared by her friends and relatives, including our upis batch, where we paid tribute to her for being part of so many people's lives. it was so overwhelming to finally see around 40 of our batchmates, that the night turned out as a reunion too.

the program ended around eleven in the evening. we haven't had dinner yet, so jan-lee, dax, amia, ayin, jam and i went to mcdo to grab some stuff to eat. then we stayed overnight at dax's place, and left around 6 in the morning. we've missed each other a lot, so we've decided to hang-out again this thursday. tomorrow, actually. hope it pushes through.

and tuesday was another good day. went to gateway with my bro edpat to catch ice age 2. it was a very fun movie, that we've been laughing for almost the whole time. had dinner after, then came my depression.

when edpat and i parted ways, i've decided to stay, and walked along the sidewalks of araneta. perhaps to think. to contemplate. fortunately, i saw sir nelson (my kom1, panpil17 and 19 professor), alone, checking papers of his students. i sat down on one of the empty seats beside him, and started to share everything that's bugging me. and so, in return, he has taught me a lot of things for that short time we've been talking.

"jason, you can't have everything."

yup, i can't. my friends, the things i want, are here. but my parents, my family, are all there. and i can't be in both places at the same time.

we've talked about so many more things, but they're for me to keep. i'm just so thankful that i saw him that time, coz he really made me feel much better.


two more days.

gotta start packing.

it's here again

and so this is my last week.

i can't believe how time flies so fast. it's like i just got back here yesterday and i already have to leave again. i have so much to do, yet i only have 5 days left. i have received my plane ticket just yesterday, and unfortunately, my return flight has also been moved to a later date.

call me exaggerating, but i'm not in the good mood for the past few weeks. maybe this will go on for the next few days, weeks, months, i dunno. it's all because of leaving again. i guess most of you guys know that i'm not really okay with us migrating, even since before we had our papers approved. i could still remember way back then how my parents and i got into lots of quarrels and word fights all because of that same topic.

and now that it's here again, it sucks bigtime.

one more thing is that i still want to do so much before i go back there. perhaps relax, take a swim with my friends, hang-out, simple yet fun stuff which my friends and i didn't have much of a chance to do for the entire academic year due to, well, academics.

but no, my final submission (the damn research paper) is due april 5, and i'm still working on it. once i do finish that, i only have the sixth to pack my things, and seventh, leave.

this is so frustrating. if only i could stop time even for just another week, for me to have more time for myself here before i spend my entire summer there in new york, with no friends, kabarkada, orgmates, no one to talk to... even my parents and sister are busy with work, so i'll be spending most of my weekdays on my own.

nice.

oh well... i'll miss everyone and everything here. most especially my best friends.



and i'll just make sure that my plans will happen before friday comes. i'm really gonna do the push. crunch time.

erika salang

she's my friend. a great person with a good soul.

we used to walk along the corridors of UPIS back then in high school. we were both part of a barkada, where we've spent almost every lunch time together at our hang-out place. we used to share stories with our friends, have laughed and cried beside each other. and yes, we all love one another.

twas junior year when she suddenly dropped out of high school... i actually didn't know why, but some have told me that she has decided to join those who really wanted to fight for the freedom of our country.

she went to the mountains.

four years after, we finally saw each other once again. that time, i was only able to ask her if i could give her a hug. i was surprised and glad to see her after a long time. of course she said yes, and i told her that i've missed her a lot.

and after that, i haven't heard from her anymore.

and next thing i know...

she's gone...

some have told me that she died during a crossfire between them and the military. i was in absolute shock. speechless.

i can't believe this happened to her.

but i have to...



erika, maraming salamat sa pagpapakita mo ng tapang, at ipinaglaban mo ang kalayaan ng ating bansa, kahit na ang naging kapalit nito ay ang iyong buhay at ng iba mo pang mga kasama. hanggang sa huli mong paghinga ay nasa isip mo ang paghangad ng hustisya para sa lahat ng mamamayan ng pilipinas... saludo kami sa'yo... mahal na mahal ka namin.